The Soul's Shadow
by CCT
Summary: (Yaoi 1+3) Trowa is wounded (physically & mentally) after a mission goes bad. Can he deal with one soilder's harsh words? (summaries... bad. ^^)
1. Part 1

**Title: The Soul's Shadow [Part 1]**

**Warnings: Yaoi 1+3, a little Violence, the fic gets a little weird, most of it taking place in Trowa's "mind".**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, but the idea for the fic is mine. ^__^ Go me!**

**CCT: I wrote this fanfic a long time ago, and just found it again. (it had been "buried" on my old computer. teehee.) And I wanted to share it with everyone. It's complete!**

|KEY|  
~*~ = Normal time  
----- = Dream sequence/Illusions  
'thoughts'  
"spoken"  
//echoes\\  
[Scary talk! You'll understand later.]

***flashbacks***

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**"What does it matter to ya,  
When you've got a job to do you gotta do it well.  
You gotta give the other fellow hell!  
You used to say live and let live.  
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)  
But if this ever-changing world in which we live in,  
Makes you give in and cry;  
Say live and let die!"  
--Live and Let Die, Paul McCartney  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Trowa ran through the hall as fast as he could. The mission had gone sour and it was his fault. He let a guard see him as he snuck into the base. The guard had somehow triggered an alarm before Trowa could knock him out. Trowa cursed as he stopped at the fork in the hall. Looking left he decided to head that way.   
               Trowa froze in place at the sight of a gun pointed at his temple. Trowa glared at the soldier as the gun was roughly shoved at Trowa. The man had to be in his early thirties. He had short croppy black hair with deep hazel eyes. He was only an inch shorter then Trowa, but a good twenty pounds heavier.   
                "Thought you would find something interesting here? Eh?"  The soldier had an odd tone to him, as if he was the one scared. Trowa knew he could use that to his advantage.  
                "I think I did find something interesting." Trowa kept his voice calm, not letting the soldier sense that tension he was feeling.   
                "And what might that be?" Trowa smiled. "What's so funny?" Trowa didn't answer; instead he lunged forward clenching the barrel of the gun. They struggled for control and then the gun fired. Trowa gasped as the bullet penetrated him in his right side. The soldier had a triumphant smirk on his face, but it soon faded as the gun fired once more. While the soldier was smiling Trowa turned the gun shooting the soldier in the gut. The two fell to the ground, the gun sliding across the floor, discarded. Trowa rolled onto his back, stealing a glance at the soldier. He was gasping for breath, and Trowa could hear the man praying. Trowa made a noise of disgust as he slowly sat up.   
                "Why are you praying? Praying can't help you now." Trowa's voice was still calm.  
                "I'm praying for my soul... I... " The man gasped for breath, but continued anyway, "I would tell you... to do the... same... but the look in you eyes... tell me you have no soul... to pray for... God help y... " The man gasped once more before his body stilled. Trowa sat there stunned.   
                //... you have no soul... \\  
                'I do so.'  
                //... the look in your eyes... \\  
                'I do so.'  
                //... tell me you have no soul... \\  
                'I do so.'  
                Trowa suddenly gasped as a sharp pain made its way up Trowa's side. 'I need to get out of here.' Trowa slid up the wall, leaving a bloodstain as he did so.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Heero and Duo waited at the jeep a few hundred yards from the base. It was well hidden in a small wooded area, surrounded by bushes and trees. The two had made a run for it when the alarms had started. Neither knew the reason for their detection, only that they needed to leave as soon as possible. But they were missing Trowa.   
                "Where is he? You don't think he continued with the mission anyway?" Duo asked, turning to look at Heero. Heero shook his head while crossing his arms. "Then where is he?"   
                "Maybe he's dead."   
                Duo's mouth fell open at Heero's answer. "How could you say that!? What kind of boyfriend are you!?"   
                "Shut up. I was only stating an option. I'm sure he is fine." Duo smacked Heero on the back of his head. Heero slowly turned his head, giving Duo a glare.   
                "Then don't say things like that! If Trowa heard... " The two froze, there was a noise coming from the bushes ahead. Heero slowly pulled out his gun, aiming it at the bushes. Trowa slowly emerged, and the two other pilots gasped. Trowa's face was pale and looked clammy. The front of his turtleneck sweater was covered in blood.  
                "Trowa!" Heero quickly ran over to his lover, not believing what he was seeing. Trowa's left hand was firmly placed over his right side, holding the wound. "What happened?"   
                "Got... shot... Heero... " Trowa let out a long breath as he fell forward. Heero caught him cradling him as the two fell to the ground.   
                "Duo! Help me get him in the jeep."   
                "Shit!"   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Duo sped on the dirt road heading for Preventers Headquarters. Heero sat in the back of the jeep, Trowa lying across his lap. Trowa had lost consciousness and was still bleeding heavily.   
                "Heero! You need to put pressure on the wound!" Heero looked down at his hand, which was covering the wound.  
                "I am!"   
                "Your hand isn't going to help much! Use a cloth or something!" Heero frantically pulled off his tank top, almost losing it to the wind. While holding the garment he quickly ripped Trowa's sweater near the wound. Heero quickly folded the tank top, placing it firmly above the wound.   
                "Hurry up Duo! I don't think he's going to make it!" Duo noted the worried tone Heero's voice had taken.   
                "I know! I'm flooring it now!"   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Five men came running out of the building as Duo held down the horn for several seconds. Duo then slid out from behind the wheel running around the jeep. He and the men slowly pulled Trowa out of the back. Heero, now covered in blood, jumped also got out. He stared in shock as the men ran into the building, Trowa's unconscious form in tow. Duo stood next to Heero.  
                "He'll make it Heero... Trowa's a fighter... " Duo's voice was low and barely audible.   
****to**** be continued...**

**CCT: Well, what do you guys think so far? o.o If you like, move along to the next chapter! **


	2. Part 2

**Title: The Soul's Shadow [Part 2]**

**Warnings: Yaoi 1+3, a little Violence, the fic gets a little weird, most of it taking place in Trowa's "mind".**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, but the idea for the fic is mine. ^__^ Go me!**

**CCT: I wrote this fanfic a long time ago, and just found it again. (it had been "buried" on my old computer. teehee.) And I wanted to share it with everyone. It's complete!**

|KEY|  
~*~ = Normal time  
----- = Dream sequence/Illusions  
'thoughts'  
"spoken"  
//echoes\\  
[Scary talk! You'll understand later.]

***flashbacks***

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**"I look to the sea.   
Reflections in the waves spark my memory.  
Some happy, some sad.  
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had.  
We live happily forever so the story goes.  
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold  
But we'll try best that we can to carry on"  
--Come Sail Away, ****Styx  
-----------------------  
                Trowa stood on the seashore. He watched as the waves crashed a foot away from his feet. He closed his eyes as a cool sea breeze went by. He almost let out a chuckle as the hair tickled his cheek, then his nose.   
As Trowa's eyes slowly opened he sunk to the sand, letting his bare feet dig in. He crossed his arms over his bare chest and glanced down at his dark green swimming trunks. He glanced back and watched as Heero cursed the barbeque flame for not starting. He almost laughed at that, but ended up sighing.   
                It wasn't often that he and Heero got out alone so when they did it was something special. But this time, this time it was different. Trowa had a certain uneasiness covering him. Something didn't feel right, but he couldn't figure out what it was.   
                "Trowa?" Trowa looked back again. Heero stood there holding a spatula.   
                "Yes?"  
                "Trowa?...Trowa?"**

-----------------------  
                "Trowa?" Trowa stared at Heero, a bit bewildered. He had been saying his name over and over for several minutes now and Trowa was beginning to get annoyed.   
                "What, Heero!? I'm right here!"  
                "Trowa?"  
                //... you have no soul... \\  
                'What?'  
                //... the look in your eyes... \\  
                'What are you talking about!?'  
                //... tell me you have no soul... \\  
                'I do so.'  
                //... you have no soul... \\  
                'I do so.'  
                //... you have no soul... \\  
                'I do so!'  
                //... you have no soul... \\  
                "I.."  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                "...DO SO!!!!" Trowa sat up with a start, and soon regretted it. He literally screamed as the pain rippled through his side. The pain was too much and he fell back, almost losing consciousness once more. As he panted, trying to catch his breath, Heero appeared at his side.   
                "Trowa? Trowa!?"  
                "H-Heero?..." Trowa turned his head, a weak smile playing on his face. "I guess you got me back, ne?" Heero nodded. Trowa studied his loves face, it was pale and his eyes didn't have their usual sparkle of life. "Don't worry about me koi...I'll be..." Trowa's eyes slowly closed as his head fell to the side.   
                "Trowa!"  
-----------------------  
                "Dinner will be ready in a minute." Trowa nodded, watching Heero walk back to the grill.   
                'All that "Trowa?" to tell me that?' Trowa thought. 'Why couldn't he just say that to begin with?'  
                [You have no soul.]  
                Trowa's head shot up.  
                [You have no soul.]  
                Trowa looked to the left, nothing.   
                [You have no soul.]  
                Trowa looked to the right, nothing. Slowly Trowa rose to his feet.   
                [You have no soul.]  
                Trowa gasped when he peered in the deep blue water ahead of him. He saw himself, but not himself. It was him, but in different clothes then the swimming trunks he is wearing now. The Trowa in the water was dressed in all black. Black tank top, black jean shorts and black sunglasses perch atop his head.   
                [You have no soul.]  
                Trowa blinked twice after the reflection spoke to him.   
                [Trowa?]  
                "Hai?" Trowa's voice was a little shaky as he spoke.  
                [Do you believe what he says?]  
                "What who says?"  
                [The man.]  
                "W-what man?" The Trowa in the water stepped aside revealing the soldier at the base. He had a wicked smile across his face, as if mocking Trowa.  
                //You have no soul, Trowa Barton,\\ the man laughed, //no soul at all!\\  
**to be continued...**


	3. Part 3

**Title: The Soul's Shadow [Part 3]**

**Warnings: Yaoi 1+3, a little Violence, the fic gets a little weird, most of it taking place in Trowa's "mind".**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, but the idea for the fic is mine. ^__^ Go me!**

**CCT: I wrote this fanfic a long time ago, and just found it again. (it had been "buried" on my old computer. teehee.) And I wanted to share it with everyone. It's complete!**

|KEY|  
~*~ = Normal time  
----- = Dream sequence/Illusions  
'thoughts'  
"spoken"  
//echoes\\  
[Scary talk! You'll understand later.]

***flashbacks***

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**"Do you feel that you life's become a catastrophe?  
Oh, it has to be,   
For you to grow, boy.  
When you look through the years,  
And see what you could have been;  
Oh, what might have been,  
If you'd had more time."  
--Take the Long Way Home, Supertramp  
-----------------------  
                "I do too! How could you know!?"  
                [That's just it; does he know? Trowa, do you have a soul?] Trowa watched as the soldier slowly disappeared leaving the other Trowa alone in the water.   
            "Of course I do!" The Trowa in the water shook his head.   
            [Are you sure of that?]  
            "Y-yes."   
                [You sure don't sound like it.]  
            "Everyone has a soul, right?"   
            [Now that is a good question... Shall we see?]  
            "What do you mean?" The Trowa in the water smiled as he walked forward. Slowly he emerged from the reflection standing face to face with Trowa.   
                [Let's see here.] The Trowa in black leaned forward, staring into Trowa's eyes. Trowa blinked a few times as the reflection continued to stare. [Well, there's something in there. Let's just get a better look.] In a swift motion the Trowa in black shoved Trowa hard. Trowa stumbled back, falling to the ground. He gasped at what he saw afterwards.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Heero sat in the same chair he had been for the past 48 hours. He held onto Trowa's hand tightly praying his love would awaken again. He had once since he was brought to one of the many rooms at the Preventers, but he had fallen back unconscious soon after.  
Heero looked up as the door across from him slowly opened. Duo poked his head in.  
                "Hi." Heero only nodded and lowered his head once more. "I just came to see how he was doing. Anything change?" Heero shook his head. "Oh. Well, I'm sure he will come around." Heero raised his head again, turning to look at Duo. Duo froze in the doorway, Heero's eyes showing pain he had never seen before. Heero's eyes lost that fierceness that had many men trembling at the sight of. Now all that was left were two blue orbs, shimmering with unshed tears.**

                "H-Heero?"  
                "Is he going to be okay Duo? Or are you just trying to comfort me?"  
                "Eh?..."  
                "Because if you are...just go away..." Heero turned back towards Trowa again. "I don't want it."  
                "No, Heero, I'm not just saying it. He *will* be okay. I'm sure of it." Heero shook his head as he fell forward, tears finally streaking down his cheeks. Duo watched as his best friend began sobbing into the bed where Trowa lay.        "Heero." Duo moved over to Heero, getting on his knees beside him. "Heero? Heero, it will be okay...He'll be all right." Heero lifted his head and stared into Duo's eyes. Duo wasn't just saying it, he meant it and Heero could see that in his eyes. "Have a little more faith, Trowa wouldn't leave ya like that. Cha, he loves you man." Heero closed his eyes, another tears escaping, as he breathed out a long sigh.  
                "I know he does...and I love him too...that's why I can't stand to see him like this...He looks so..." 

-----------------------  
                Trowa stood quickly, backing away from a very strange object floating next to the other Trowa. It was a deep blue color and was shaped like a circle, and very flat as if it had been drawn on a piece of paper. It just floated there as the other Trowa studied it.   
                [I see...so you don't have a soul.]  
                "What? Isn't that.."  
                [This, Trowa, is the soul's shadow.]  
**to**** be continued...**


	4. Part 4

**Title: The Soul's Shadow [Part 4]**

**Warnings: Yaoi 1+3, a little Violence, the fic gets a little weird, most of it taking place in Trowa's "mind".**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, but the idea for the fic is mine. ^__^ Go me!**

**CCT: I wrote this fanfic a long time ago, and just found it again. (it had been "buried" on my old computer. teehee.) And I wanted to share it with everyone. It's complete!**

|KEY|  
~*~ = Normal time  
----- = Dream sequence/Illusions  
'thoughts'  
"spoken"  
//echoes\\  
[Scary talk! You'll understand later.]

***flashbacks***

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**"Life is bigger;****  
****It's bigger than you.****  
****And you are not me.****  
****The lengths that I will go to,****  
****The distance in your eyes.****  
****Oh no I've said too much..****  
****I said enough." ****  
****--Losing My Religion, REM  
-----------------------  
            "The soul's shadow? My soul?"   
            [Perhaps... ] The Trowa in black watched as the dark blue circle began to shape itself. After a moment it turned into a Trowa type shape, only there were no details and it was still flat.  
                "What do you mean, perhaps? If I have a shadow of a soul, then I have to have a soul... don't I?"   
            [No, you don't.]   
            "But if there is a shadow, there has to be something creating it. Otherwise it would be illogical." Trowa pointed at the shadow. "If I have that I *have* to have a soul." The Trowa in black shook its head.   
                [Trowa, life isn't always logical... and a soul, any soul, is also not. You don't need a soul to have its shadow.]  
            "What do you mean?"   
            [A soul's shadow is something all its own. It acts almost exactly like a soul, but in a way it's completely different. Like a real shadow it hides at the first sign of darkness... and to a soul hardship, fear, and sometimes even caring can be darkness.]  
            "I don't... "   
            [Understand?] Trowa nodded. [Of course you don't. And maybe you never will.]  
                "Then why are you doing all of this? Isn't it to make me understand?"   
            [No. That was not my intent.]  
            "Then what was?"   
            [Oh, it is very simple; I'm here to tell you to stop.]  
            "Stop?"   
            [Yes. What that soldier said really affected you. And since then you have been questioning everything about yourself... you need to stop... it's causing you more harm then good, both physically and mentally.]  
            "What do you mean? I feel great." The Trowa in black threw his head back and began laughing. The shadow seemed to mimic him. "What?"   
            [Oh, you haven't realized it yet?]  
            "Realized what?"   
            [You're dying.]  
            "What!?"   
                Okay, okay.] The Trowa in black chuckled, the shadow again doing the same. [So you're not exactly dying, but pretty damn close to it.]  
                "What?"   
            [You've been shot.]  
            "No... I went on a mission a few days ago... it went smoothly and then Heero invited me on a little vacation. Here." Trowa motioned to the surrounding beach.  
            [Is that what you really think?] Trowa nodded. [Interesting.]  
                "Am I wrong?"   
            [Yes, you most definitely are. This, my friend, is your mind... You were shot and now you are in a coma...of sorts... a self induced one.]  
            "Self induced?"   
            [When the soldier uttered those words you freaked out. No one had ever said something like that to you. People called you a bastard, asshole, heartless... and much worse... but being called a person without a soul really got to you. Why?]  
                "I-I don't know... I don't even remember getting shot! I wasn't shot!"   
            [Yes you were. You were shot and fell unconscious, those words echoing through your brain.]  
            "What words!"   
            //... you have no soul... \\   
            "What!?"   
            //... you have no soul... \\  
            "Yes, I do!" Trowa fell to his knees as those four words continued to echo around them.   
                //... you have no soul... \\  
            "Make it stop!"   
            //... you have no soul... \\   
            [I can't do that.]  
            //... you have no soul... \\  
            "Why not!?"   
            //... you have no soul... \\  
            [You are the only one who can.]  
                //... you have no soul... \\  
            "No, I can't."   
            //... you have no soul... \\  
            [Yes you can.]  
            //... you have no soul... \\  
            "No I can't!"   
            //... you have no soul... \\  
            [How do you know? You haven't even tried!]  
            //... you have no soul... \\  
            "How!?"   
            [That, is for you to decide. You are the only one who can do it.]  
            //... you have no soul... \\  
            "But... "   
            [No buts... ] Suddenly the echoing stopped. [You have to over come this Trowa, and until you do you have no soul...]  
            "What?"   
            [Until you can over come this I am useless...]  
            "You are my soul?"   
            [Yes.]  
            "Why didn't you tell me that before?"   
            [Would have made a difference?]  
            "Of course it would."   
            [Really? You knew you did, but by stating so you began to doubt it! You doubted I existed! And thus causing you to be in the state you are in.]  
****to**** be continued...**


	5. Part 5

**Title: The Soul's Shadow [Part 5]**

**Warnings: Yaoi 1+3, a little Violence, the fic gets a little weird, most of it taking place in Trowa's "mind".**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, but the idea for the fic is mine. ^__^ Go me!**

**CCT: I wrote this fanfic a long time ago, and just found it again. (it had been "buried" on my old computer. teehee.) And I wanted to share it with everyone. It's complete!**

|KEY|  
~*~ = Normal time  
----- = Dream sequence/Illusions  
'thoughts'  
"spoken"  
//echoes\\  
[Scary talk! You'll understand later.]

***flashbacks***

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**"We take the pressure,   
And we throw away.  
Conventionalitly belongs to yesterday.  
There is a chance that we can make it so far.  
We start believing now,   
But we can be who we are."  
--Grease, from Grease; sung by Frankie Valli  
-----------------------  
                "N-no...I didn't..."  
                [Yes, you did! Look at you! You're stuttering! You never stutter!]  
                "....."  
                [Trowa, why are you letting what one person said get to you!?]  
                "I don't even know what you are talking about!"  
                [Yes you do! Trowa, stop acting like a child!] Suddenly the shadow began to shrink as Trowa fell forward on his hands and knees.   
                "I'm not!" Trowa hit the ground as a sob escaped his lips. "I don't understand! What the hell are you trying to do!?"  
                [Knock some sense into you! You are hurting yourself by doubting everything about you!]  
                "I am not! A little while ago I was happy! I was just sitting here...thinking..." Trowa looked up "I was thinking about...nothing in particular...just that I felt so...empty all of a sudden..."  
                [Bingo.]  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Heero slept as soundly as he could. He was having laying on Trowa's bed and half sitting in his chair. His head was lying across Trowa's chest, his right hand firmly clenched around Trowa's.   
-----------------------  
                "Something did happen..."  
                [Yes, something did.] Trowa sat up. Suddenly his calm facade was back in place.   
                "I got shot, huh?" The Trowa in black nodded. "Bad?"  
                [You'll live. If you can get out of here, that is.]  
                "Where is here?"  
                [Like I said before, this is your mind. All of this is nothing more then an illusion of sorts. You aren't really on the beach...and Heero really isn't burning the burgers over there.] The Trowa in black pointed at Heero, almost laughing at the scene. Heero was threatening the grill while waving the spatula at it. Trowa also looked at Heero and suddenly noticed something; Heero was dressed in a pair of black jean shorts, a black tank top and a pair of black sunglasses rested on top of his head. Trowa's mouth fell open as he turned to his soul. The Trowa in black only smiled when he saw Trowa finally figured something else out.   
                "You and Heero are..."  
                [Dressed the same?] Trowa nodded. [Yeah, well that happens...]  
                "What do you mean, that happens?" Trowa's soul sighed as it sank to the sand next to Trowa.   
                [Well, I guess I am here to make you understand...]  
                "That would be nice." The Trowa in black smiled.   
                [The reason you have the soul's shadow, and not a soul, inside you is because that is all you have left.]  
                "What?"  
                [Everyone has a soul, Trowa. Everyone. It may be small or in hiding...but it's still there. And everyone also has a shadow for that soul. Sometimes that shadow over powers its creator...and that is only so when hardship, fear, anger...and other things drive the soul to hide or shrink from the pain. But in other people, like yourself, your soul belongs to another. In your case, Heero.]  
                "What do you mean? Heero has my soul?" Trowa's soul nodded.   
                [He claimed you mind, body and soul sometime ago, Trowa. He loves you with everything he has, and in return you have done the same.]  
                "I do love him. He is everything to me..."  
                [We know.]  
                "We?" The Trowa in black laughed.   
                [The Heero cooking dinner for you, is really Heero's soul. You have him mind, body and soul as well. You are his everything, and he is the same for you.]   
                "I see..."  
                [You are lucky.]  
                "How?"  
                [You found your match...most people don't in their life time. You are lucky indeed.]  
                "Yeah...I guess I am."  
                [Now all you have to do is get over this.] Trowa nodded. [You can do it. I have faith in you...but you need to hurry. Heero isn't doing so well.]  
                "What? Is he hurt too?" The Trowa in black shook his head. "What's wrong with him?"  
                [You.]  
****to**** be concluded...**


	6. Part 6

**Title: The Soul's Shadow [Part 6]**

**Warnings: Yaoi 1+3, a little Violence, the fic gets a little weird, most of it taking place in Trowa's "mind".**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, but the idea for the fic is mine. ^__^ Go me!**

**CCT: I wrote this fanfic a long time ago, and just found it again. (it had been "buried" on my old computer. teehee.) And I wanted to share it with everyone. It's complete!**

|KEY|  
~*~ = Normal time  
----- = Dream sequence/Illusions  
'thoughts'  
"spoken"  
//echoes\\  
[Scary talk! You'll understand later.]

***flashbacks***

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**"And I will go on shining.  
Shining like brand new.  
I'll never look behind me.  
My troubles will be few.  
Goodbye stranger it's been nice.  
Hope you find your paradise.  
Tried to see your point of view.  
Hope your dreams will all come true."  
--Good-bye Stranger, Supertramp  
-----------------------  
                "What?"  
                [He's waiting for you...and his strength is fading...I can't help him much when your like this...and he can't help you either...that's why you are here...his soul and I can't help either of you...all we could do was bring you here until you come to your senses...and let Heero deal with it on his own...As soon as you snap out of we can help.]  
                "But how do I get out of here?"  
                [I don't know.]  
                "How could you not know!? You said you sent me here!"  
                [I did...but getting out was something you had to figure out. I, nor Heero's soul, can help you...Now, I must be going.] Trowa's soul slowly stood, giving Trowa a half-hearted smile. Trowa quickly jumped to his feet as the soul headed for the water.  
                "Wait!" Trowa' soul slowly turned around.   
                [Trowa, you have to figure this out on your own.]  
                "I know...but I don't want to be alone." The Trowa in black smiled.  
                [You'll never be *alone* Trowa. Heero is always with you and so is he.] Trowa's soul pointed at the shadow now standing near Heero's soul. (Who was *still* cooking.) [You *can* get through this. You just need to believe in yourself...as soon as I leave...as soon as I leave things will change...this place will be gone...you will have to face the truth.] Trowa nodded, he was finally beginning to understand. He needed to help Heero, if not for himself. And he needed to hurry. The Trowa in black waved good-bye as he walked into the water and began to disappear.         [Take care Trowa.]  
                "Bye." And with that he was gone. And almost in that instant the scenery began to change. The shadow was quickly pulled inside of Trowa. Trowa almost collapsed at the impact. As Trowa's head shot up he could see the beach, the ocean and Heero disappeared; Trowa was left standing in a cold blackness.   
                Trowa gasped as a picture suddenly appeared in front of him.   
                ***Trowa froze in place at the sight of a gun pointed at his temple. Trowa glared at the soldier as the gun was roughly shoved at Trowa.**

                "Thought you would find something interesting here? Eh?"   
            "I think I did find something interesting." ***  
            'I don't remember that...'  
                ***"And what might that be?" Trowa smiled. "What's so funny?" Trowa didn't answer; instead he lunged forward clenching the barrel of the gun. They struggled for control and then the gun fired. Trowa gasped as the bullet penetrated him in his right side. The soldier had a triumphant smirk on his face, but it soon faded as the gun fired once more. While the soldier was smiling Trowa turned the gun shooting the soldier in the gut. The two fell to the ground, the gun sliding across the floor, discarded.***   
                'I don't remember that...'  
                ***Trowa rolled onto his back, stealing a glance at the soldier. The man was half leaning against the wall, his hand firmly placed on his stomach. Trowa could see the blood that was coming from the man, he wasn't going to last long. He was gasping for breath, and Trowa could hear the man praying. Trowa made a noise of disgust as he slowly sat up. "Why are you praying? Praying can't help you now." Trowa's voice was calm.  
            "I'm praying for my soul... I... " The man gasped for breath, but continued anyway, "I would tell you... to do the... same... but the look in your eyes... tell me you have no soul... to pray for... God help y..."***  
            'I...I-I remember that...'  
            //...you have no soul...\\  
            'I remember now. I have a soul!'  
                //...you have no soul...\\  
                'I do have one.'  
                //So you do.\\  
                'What?' Trowa's eyes widened as the picture disappeared and the blackness returned. But Trowa only had to stand there a minute as a black hole of sorts appeared below him.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Duo, Quatre and Wufei peered into the room. They stared at Heero. His sleeping form was still lying half on Trowa. Heero has been keeping watch for the past few days. He had refused to move from that position. He hasn't even eaten in the past three days, since Trowa was brought in. He hasn't even been sleeping much. This has been the longest stretch yet, a whole three hours.   
                Quatre lowered his head. He knew if Trowa didn't come to soon he knew Heero would just get worse. And he was afraid to think what could be worse then this. Quatre was about to turn around and leave when Duo elbowed him. He pointed ahead and Quatre looked. Trowa's eyes were slowly beginning to open.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Trowa slowly came to. He could feel all the medication that was in him; he could feel them trying to draw him back to unconsciousness, but he fought it. Somehow he knew he slept enough already. Trowa looked down to see Heero asleep. He smiled at the sight of his koi's head on his chest. He could see Heero's eye-lids flutter as if dreaming.   
                Trowa could feel Heero's hand holding his. Slowly he flexed his hand, trying to get Heero's attention. His throat felt extremely dry and he knew he wouldn't be able to call him. Trowa kept flexing his hand, but was getting no response.  
                'He's tired...I'll just let him sleep...' Trowa sighed deeply. Trowa didn't know what to make of his dream...it felt so real. He could have sworn it was, but this scene was proving it otherwise. 'I guess it was all just a dream...I really was shot. Huh, silly to forget something like *that*' Trowa chuckled which caused his chest to go up and down sharply.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
                Heero sat up. Something didn't feel right. He had been sleeping on Trowa's chest, he could feel his slow breaths even in sleep. But suddenly they were coming faster. Heero woke up in that instant. He stared at Trowa. Trowa was laughing.   
                "Trowa?" Trowa nodded slowly, still laughing. "Are-are you laughing?" Trowa slowly calmed himself while shaking his head no. Soon Trowa was still, his calm breathing returned. He stared up at Heero and a small smile appeared.

                "H-Heero..." Trowa stopped for a moment, swallowing a few times trying to get his voice to return.  
                "No, you don't have to speak."  
                "I-I want to..." Trowa swallowed a few more times. "I'm sorry."  
                "What?"   
                "I'm sorry...I put you through this...I...I didn't mean to..."  
                "No one means to get shot, Trowa. Of course you didn't mean to. I'm sorry for not being there to help you."  
                "No...it was my fault...I was the one who triggered the alarm...and I was the one who didn't see the...soldier coming...it was also me that couldn't come to my senses."  
                "What do you mean by that?" Trowa shook his head.  
                "You wouldn't understand...I love you." Heero blinked then smiled, the smile only Trowa was ever able to see.  
                "I love you too, Trowa. I always will." Heero bent down a planted a soft kiss on Trowa's lips. Trowa sighed deeply as they parted; he always loved Heero's tender side.   
                "You know what, koi?" Heero sat back in his chair. He was thrilled to see Trowa talking again, even though his voice was a little harsh.  
                "What?"   
                "You should wear a black tank top, instead of the green." Trowa pointed at the tank top Heero was wearing now. "And maybe you should wear sunglasses more."  
                "Eh? Trowa, what brought this on?"  
                "Oh, nothing..."   
**the end...**

**CCT: Okay, so what did everyone think? o.o Got kinda mushy on the end huh? Oh well! Heero and Trowa mush is nice! I love that pairing. Hehehe. Well, wasn't too confusing was it? I hope not. Mmm, well give me some feedback, ne? ^__^ Thank you!**


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